Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
