from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize