you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
