i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
