My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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