Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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