you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
