She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
