It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
