i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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