The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
