2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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