oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize