I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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