maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
