Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
