i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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