so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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