and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize