i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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