ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
