hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
third nipple confirmed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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