Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
