Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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