and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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