she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
