Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize