Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you would pick up someone in the library
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
