Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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