She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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