i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
