Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
