Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
