Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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