Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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