Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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