I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
