just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize