Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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