Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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