Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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