hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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