She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
