she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
