one two three fourrrrnication!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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