that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I just googled if crying burns calories
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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