i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
