So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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