Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
