Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
