you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
