when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
