We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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