he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
