woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
