on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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