I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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