You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
