I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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