They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
