So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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