So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
