return my video game
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
