My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
