Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
