Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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