I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
