plz talk dirty to me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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