connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
