I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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