Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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