I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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